So here I am, fast approaching 40 - in fact an avalanche on the move is slower - and yet again I find myself questioning where (literally) I am and in a bit of a quandry.
Now at the outset I have to place on record that I view myself as quite a free thinking individual, not a prude or prissy and I definitely don't really have issues around sex and "stuff" - and given the story I am writing it is highly ironic that I am currently loving a song from oh I don't know - sometime in the nineties I think - by Marcy Playground called "I love sex & candy"!
This situation starting brewing some months back, a long tedious story - won't bore you with the details, but suffice to say I find myself looking at new options for a premises to run my catering business from ... to this end I find myself googling all over, and every place I drive past is scrutinised for hopeful possibilities. Then a dear friend says "oh what about that little shopping centre down the road..." and I think well sure its older but rentwise that could be avantageous - off I go to have a look and being quite excited by thoughts and visions of a new direction in a new venue I give the agent a call and explain my situation. "That's great" she says, "lets meet" she says ... well it turns out my dream deli-cum-catering establishment (for which I have already chosen the most amazing colour) is about to be converted into a bottle store. "But", she says "I have the perfect place around the corner, and the tenants are looking at other options, and it will be sooooo perfect for you! "Great" I think - this is a forward thinking agent, she listened to my needs, she gets me! ... and so off we stroll to view the other premises. And I am still thinking "this is great" until she suddenly excitedly grips my arm with one hand, and dragging me is waving frantically with the other and squeaks "so have you ever been in one of these?" OMG - she is waving at the SEX SHOP!!!! "No, never felt the need" I mutter as the realisation hits home - THIS is the premises! What is this woman thinking?
So it seems that sex and its accompaniments is not selling at this shopping centre ... enter suckered Jules (or not) - trying to be objective and keeping my (catering) vision intact - the size is good, but I am not able to reconcile blue carpets tiles that are only a few millimetres short of being shag pile, and a wonky tap hanging over an even wonkier hand basin to my dream kitchen - hell, any kitchen! I was subsequently dragged round the establishment - supposedly to get the feel for it - by a more and more excited agent who had to inspect every inch of its merchandise - VREK ... I feel the blues approaching ....
I am a visionary kind of gal, but with this I have to admit I am REALLY struggling. So in a rather depro moment I chat to my dear friend Bonnie who is immediately hysterically rolling on the floor, shrieking with laughter, and states she thinks this is the opportunity of a lifetime (huh) ... "Think of the by-lines" she squeals with laughter "Julia's Bakery & Deli, which tart would you like to fill" or "our tarts come in all sizes" - oh, what have I unleashed ....
And so the story goes around and the by-lines are rolling in "come see our fresh buns", "guess our cup size" (thanks Stuart & Candy
)
So as I contemplate my life stuck where I am (not really an option) or entering a new sex deli enterprise - there is a glimmer of hope ... 50m2 of REAL kitchen space, no tripping over vibrators as I shimmy of to my next delivery, or choking on my coffee as I contemplate selling strawberry flavoured condoms to compliment my pavlovas!
But still you know - the mind keeps running - please feel free to add on to the by-lines list, you see, I might just end up being that visionary that launches a whole new craze in revolutionary catering ... Bank roll???? Anyone ????
I don't know that I have anything vaguely good enough - no wait - sexy enough - to finish this tale so while my minds keeps whipping things up, I leave you with a recipe that is very useful (posted in the seductive food section)... it could melt the most hardened and cynical of hearts - a chocolate mousse so light and gentle you go weak at the knees, in a surrender that can only be good ... and if it flops the upside is that it could make the most sublime body massage creme ....
Now at the outset I have to place on record that I view myself as quite a free thinking individual, not a prude or prissy and I definitely don't really have issues around sex and "stuff" - and given the story I am writing it is highly ironic that I am currently loving a song from oh I don't know - sometime in the nineties I think - by Marcy Playground called "I love sex & candy"!
This situation starting brewing some months back, a long tedious story - won't bore you with the details, but suffice to say I find myself looking at new options for a premises to run my catering business from ... to this end I find myself googling all over, and every place I drive past is scrutinised for hopeful possibilities. Then a dear friend says "oh what about that little shopping centre down the road..." and I think well sure its older but rentwise that could be avantageous - off I go to have a look and being quite excited by thoughts and visions of a new direction in a new venue I give the agent a call and explain my situation. "That's great" she says, "lets meet" she says ... well it turns out my dream deli-cum-catering establishment (for which I have already chosen the most amazing colour) is about to be converted into a bottle store. "But", she says "I have the perfect place around the corner, and the tenants are looking at other options, and it will be sooooo perfect for you! "Great" I think - this is a forward thinking agent, she listened to my needs, she gets me! ... and so off we stroll to view the other premises. And I am still thinking "this is great" until she suddenly excitedly grips my arm with one hand, and dragging me is waving frantically with the other and squeaks "so have you ever been in one of these?" OMG - she is waving at the SEX SHOP!!!! "No, never felt the need" I mutter as the realisation hits home - THIS is the premises! What is this woman thinking?
So it seems that sex and its accompaniments is not selling at this shopping centre ... enter suckered Jules (or not) - trying to be objective and keeping my (catering) vision intact - the size is good, but I am not able to reconcile blue carpets tiles that are only a few millimetres short of being shag pile, and a wonky tap hanging over an even wonkier hand basin to my dream kitchen - hell, any kitchen! I was subsequently dragged round the establishment - supposedly to get the feel for it - by a more and more excited agent who had to inspect every inch of its merchandise - VREK ... I feel the blues approaching ....
I am a visionary kind of gal, but with this I have to admit I am REALLY struggling. So in a rather depro moment I chat to my dear friend Bonnie who is immediately hysterically rolling on the floor, shrieking with laughter, and states she thinks this is the opportunity of a lifetime (huh) ... "Think of the by-lines" she squeals with laughter "Julia's Bakery & Deli, which tart would you like to fill" or "our tarts come in all sizes" - oh, what have I unleashed ....
And so the story goes around and the by-lines are rolling in "come see our fresh buns", "guess our cup size" (thanks Stuart & Candy
)So as I contemplate my life stuck where I am (not really an option) or entering a new sex deli enterprise - there is a glimmer of hope ... 50m2 of REAL kitchen space, no tripping over vibrators as I shimmy of to my next delivery, or choking on my coffee as I contemplate selling strawberry flavoured condoms to compliment my pavlovas!
But still you know - the mind keeps running - please feel free to add on to the by-lines list, you see, I might just end up being that visionary that launches a whole new craze in revolutionary catering ... Bank roll???? Anyone ????
I don't know that I have anything vaguely good enough - no wait - sexy enough - to finish this tale so while my minds keeps whipping things up, I leave you with a recipe that is very useful (posted in the seductive food section)... it could melt the most hardened and cynical of hearts - a chocolate mousse so light and gentle you go weak at the knees, in a surrender that can only be good ... and if it flops the upside is that it could make the most sublime body massage creme ....
