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    Ashes to Ashes

    Julia Hill
    Julia Hill


    Location | Ligging : All Around The World
    Posts | Bydraes : 151
    Points | Punte : 259
    Join date | Datum aangesluit : 2011-08-28
    Age | Ouderdom : 53

    Ashes to Ashes Empty Ashes to Ashes

    Post by Julia Hill Sat 03 Sep 2011, 4:55 pm

    The other night I had what must have been one of the most bizarre conversations ever with my Mum! Once again I seem to need to start off by stating something for the record … I love my Mum dearly and have over the years grown accustomed to her foibles and eccentricities – those are after all the very things which make her so unique and form the many aspects that cause her to be the character that she is …

    We have on numerous occasions discussed her wishes for the days that follow her “shuffling off this mortal coil” and I won’t go into great detail – but it is well planned! And one of her wishes is that she wants to donate her body to medical research – now many may find this really odd or creepy, but I get it – she has long lived with Diabetes and an undiagnosed lung condition and if she could be of use in solving even one small part of a medical mystery relating to one of these things – then how cool is that! And I am quite at peace with the fact that her spirit, her essence will continue – with or without a body.

    And so we arrive at the conversation … with an impending trip to the Midlands this week (Mum lives in the UK) and another to Italy with her new beau Dave in two months time, she has decided that it is time to tackle this matter of “body donation” in earnest. There are so many rules and regulations over there that she wanted to get the ball rolling, so to speak and needed my confirmation that I am still okay with all it entails …

    Then the question comes up “so you won’t mind that there would not be a coffin at the memorial service?” . “Oh, no” I casually reply, “they will need you as fresh as possible” … oh no, what have I just said! I can’t take that back! So I wait, breathless and fearful (have I upset her), there is a really long silence and then a shriek of laughter, I am not sure what to do or say, but then we are both laughing uncontrollably, and between gasps of air she splutters “Gosh, I never thought of it like that!”

    Slowly we regain our composure and continue chatting away, songs that she wants (she has added or changed a few) and she reminds me that she will come back to haunt me if I don’t play “From A Distance” sung by Cliff Richard! (jeez, I really had hoped she would forget that one Wink … and suddenly I am struck by the most awful thought … “Wait a minute Mum, if you donate your body to Medical Research you won’t be cremated and then I can’t fill one of your more long-standing instructions” …

    (okay so this needs a little background explanation of its’ own … when Dad passed away some five years ago, Mum scattered all but a teaspoon of Dads ashes. This teaspoon has been lovingly relocated 3 times! (SA to UK for the scattering, UK to SA, and back to UK when she decided to retire to Devon) – the instruction I was given was that she did not mind what I did with her ashes so long as same amount – a token teaspoon of her was added to Dad and then scattered together symbolising an eternal union)

    “Oh” she says “don’t worry – you would still get ashes but it would be delayed by six to eight months” and there is a pause, a surripticious sip of sherry, a deep breath and then, “by the way – I’ve changed my mind … I now want my ashes scattered off Heartland Quay or Point – preferably from the flag pole”. Well this would be fine, except for the fact that the two times I have been there I have feared for my own mortality! True it is absolutely beautiful, the rock formations, the view, the rolling ocean! But on those two occasions I have never experienced less than gale force winds – and truthfully I am quite sure I don’t want to enter into a suicide pact with my Mums’ ashes! “Um, ok Mum” I mutter, thinking “this is NOT good!”

    “Oh” she says again, taking a sly sip of that sherry (geez will someone get me the bottle) “do you remember that Sylvia and Mike (these are my Godparents) came round for supper the other week?”. “Yes” I reply thinking “I am safe, I have survived, the conversation is back to normal, I have made it”. “Well”, she says, “a little confession – I took the little urn with your Dads’ ashes in, out to show Sylvia and Mike and (pause, sip, pause, sip) well, I tripped and most of Dad ended up on Mike” (okay forget the bottle I now what a barrel!!!!!)
    “Wh-a-a-a-a-a-t?” not sure whether to give in again to that uncontrollable laughter or be completely horrified. “Yes”, she says, “so I think it will be more like a dash of Dad and I in the urn, rather than a teaspoon! Do you think that will still work?” …

    And that was the end of the conversation, bizzarre and funny, we just could not speak a word more, other than choked goodbyes through the tears of laughter …

    You know, I think I am beginning to understand a little more about why I am – who I am 

    As I try to include recipes with most of my stories, I decided to bring up the conversation again and asked Mum what she cooked for dinner the night Dad got “spilled” – well it turned out to be roast lamb which lets face it EVERYONE has their own little secret recipe for so in honour of my awesome Dad, who lets face it should have been born Chinese, if only for his life long love of their food, please check out the recipe section for one of his favourites - Beef Chow Mein (a somewhat "westernised” version)

      Current date/time is Thu 28 Mar 2024, 10:29 pm